jobs_bullshit

2012-02-09


Yeah, we've all heard the whinging on the news.


Man, fucking save it. Stop lying, you're not fooling anyone. You're making yourself feel better with the bullshit you're spewing and you're making your fellow failures-in-arms feel better as well, but you're full of shit and you goddamn know it.

I know this because I speak from experience at being a lazy failure. I haven't had a job since 2007 or 2008 (I think; it's been so long I can't even recall). Does this mean that the job market is in the toilet? Compared to ten years ago, sure, maybe. But that's not the problem, not really.

If I really wanted a job, I could have one by the end of the day. Thing is, I don't want to work at McDonald's. Frankly, I don't really feel like WORKING at all. But even as incompetent as I am in most areas, I guarantee I could be gainfully employed inside of 10 hours if I busted my ass or lowered my standards. But therein lies the problem.

With some of these jobs (McJobs), we don't want them because they're demeaning. I'm not going to try to diminish the validity of that position either with the qualifier "We THINK they're demeaning." No, they fucking are. If we - and more importantly, all of our peers - consider something to be demeaning then it absolutely is.

Other jobs suck because they're too hard or don't fit with how we see ourselves. I don't want to move furniture. I don't want to stand on my feet for nine hours straight (I weigh 350+ lbs). I don't want to walk door-to-door, or make phone calls all day, or tell people about Fred Meyer's largest HDTV or whatever the fuck. Cleaning toilets? Serving tickets? That shit's for the birds.

Let's just face the facts here. I'll use myself as an example because I'd hate to make assumptions about you, dear reader... ah fuck it, no I don't. If you're anything like me (let's hope not), you don't have a job because you just don't fucking feel like it. You don't care ENOUGH to get a job because you can get by without one, some way or another. In my case, it's parents. In some peoples' cases, it's stealing from everyone else (AKA, able-bodied welfare).

Let's strop trying to legitimize this. I'm lazy, alright? I'm lazy and spoiled, and so are you, and so is every one of these crybaby parasites clogging up the streets at any given OWS rally. You can try to blame it on whatever the fuck you want, but you know what the problem is and really, deep down, so does everyone else:

The problem is you.

You're an idle, over-indulged entitlement-minded piece of shit, just like I am. You could get a job if you really wanted, but you don't. So either just get a fucking job already or do what I do: Stop pretending like you want one. WANTING a job doesn't mean shit (unless you've been raised to believe that 'trying your best' is just as good as succeeding, go figure). HAVING a job? That's another matter.