WallE

2009-05-26

It's not that fucking good. In fact, it's completely average, a C+ at best. I keep hearing words like "important," or "meaningful" thrown around when people talk about this movie. Are you shitting me? It's the same as every other goddamn disney-style stroke-fest that boo-hoos about the environment, except (to its credit) it's slightly less blatant.

To be fair, when I say it's an average movie, I'm not weighing my distaste for bullshit "messages" against it. Some movies can still be great, even with all that. No, when I say it's ho-hum, I say so because it's fucking BORING.





Sure, it's cute the first time... aww, look at the little robot. He made a friend! Oh look at his little house, isn't that adorable? He's such a clever little guy. But I really can't imagine watching it again without being bored to tears. There's almost nothing compelling about the movie. The protagonist is only barely likeable, and he's completely silent and still basically worthless. Everything and everyone else in the movie may as well not exist, except the "chick" robot.

The antagonist? Honestly, I can't even remember, that's how boring this shit was. It was the space station, right? Quick, someone help me out here, I think my back is breaking under the strain of this immensely original creativity. A spaceship that tries to control or hurt people? What will these crazy Hollywood types think up next?

This movie was way overrated, even despite the inclusion of robots, which are pretty cool.

Speaking of cool robots, I feel obligated to mention a much better movie by the name of Short Circuit. I've been a fan of this movie since it came out, when I was roughly two or three years old.





I know I'm not the only person who remembers this movie, because the Nostalgia Critic just did a thing on it a week or two ago (link). You people think I'm joking about this shit, but I'm not. This thing's getting ripped and put on my harddrive with all my other awesome movies, like Aliens and Serenity.

Granted, it's a pretty fucking stupid movie, but that's the beauty of it. It doesn't try to be more than it is, unlike a certain other movie which may or may not have already been discussed at length in this entry. It's a dumb robot movie that knows its place.

Plus, he's a wise-cracking robot with a soul and a laser beam. BEAT THAT WALL-E, YOU TRASH-COLLECTING FAGGOT.